Looking for the Element in all the Wrong Places

If humans are naturally drawn to learning, why doesn't everyone enjoy school? If everyone has unique gifts and talents, why do some people feel dumb, depressed and insignificant? If you want something different, you need to do something different. Welcome to the element is everything podcast where we discuss real world experiences, research and strategies around finding your element, what it is, how to do it, and how to support others in developing it. Please welcome your host with over 30 years experience in public education and independent learning. Terry Novacek. Imagine having the interest, talent and attitude to be your best you. While all that sounds great, there are times when even though your interests and talents do come together, you might feel something is still missing. And then you realize, I am just not enjoying this. Do you ever find it challenging to truly put your heart into the work you do? Well, rather than questioning your interests and talents, think about your environment, and or maybe the people that you're engaging with. Today, we talk with Earl Adi, lead manager for community Montessori, who developed the school's middle school program from the ground up. While initially one might think this is a man with decades of experience as a teacher, you'll learn it was actually a more diverse path that brought him to this place where he experiences joy on a daily basis. Hi, Earl, thank you for taking the time to share your story with us. Where should we begin? I think possibly if we spoke about the, you know, living in England, and deciding to leave teaching, because that was probably the there was a low point that was that was said, You know, I didn't I didn't do it happily. And I did it because I just sort of sheer frustration with the with the system with the with the people I worked with, with the children's behaviors, just all those things I just felt that I just had to do to do something different. And there was a part of me too, that wanted to know, like, how did I truly know that teaching was my element? If I didn't try something else? So I wanted to be it was sort of an idea that I felt I could always come back to teaching I didn't know would take me that long or be that hard. But it was nice to to go. Okay, well, then let's see what it's like doing something else apart from teaching. Do you remember what drew you to teaching originally? You know, tear was the funniest thing I was I was a senior in South Africa. And we had a visit from the State Education Department back in the day. And they just had a conversation with a group of seniors saying, you know, there's a teaching shortage, just kind of putting it out there if any of you have ever thought about teaching, and I didn't, I hadn't really thought about it so much. And I kind of thought, well, it's somewhat interesting. I didn't really know what else I wanted to do with my life. And so I thought, well, it's kind of interesting. I'll think about it. And then my dad told me that his father, back in Germany had been a teacher, and they were kind of proud, you know, like, Wow, that sounds gonna be a teacher. And so they were proud of that, too. And then I just sort of got into it. And then once I started the program, I was like, Oh, yeah, this is this. This is me, but but the initial entry wasn't sort of anything, you know, super passion. It was more just the, I don't know what else I'm gonna do. Let me let me investigate and kind of see see where it goes from there. So are you saying that your teacher training went really well? Yes. And that's what made you feel like my teacher. I didn't like, almost once I started, I was. Yeah. And I think the more I told people, and then people gave me that. Oh, like, we could see you as a teacher. Like, oh, yeah, totally. And that was sort of a, like an affirming thing, like being being surrounded by people who, who said, Oh, yeah, we can. We can see you doing that. And so you, you feed off that positive energy, for sure. So you're in your element, and you're in England, and something was wrong. What Yeah, yeah, for sure. So I was doing substitute teaching. You know, it was paid really well. I mean, it paid really, really well. So that was, that was wonderful. But it was just, it just got to the job of feeling like you were babysitting children, like, you know, you just got there. Give them this worksheet. I worked in some of the real tough schools, you know, emotional behavioral difficulties schools. I tended not to moan so at the end of the day, the principal would always say to me, are you available tomorrow? Can you come back tomorrow? I'm sure I can. I can come back tomorrow. And I just, you know, I just sort of witnessed this disillusioned, kiddos disillusioned adults, tons of admin, you know, they had, like they sort of state officials coming in and doing all these inspections and demanding this and demanding that and paperwork. And the overwhelming five was a negative vibe. And it just, I just got to the point where I was thinking, this is, this is crazy. This isn't teaching children this is this is babysitting children, this is just getting through the day making sure that one kid doesn't fight with another kid, this is just making sure that you know, you get out of the out alive because that's a bit dramatic. But it really just if there was no, you know, I'd loved it back in South Africa where I first taught high school, but this was just so different. And so disillusioning. And I think that kind of coincided with that idea of, well, maybe I should try something else, just to be sure that that teaching is what I want to do with with the rest of my life. And so where did you go from there? So I then started looking around for another job. And there's some very smart people in the business world, you know, there's a lot of disillusion teachers. And when you start kind of looking for it, they find you very very, very quickly. And so, and they're very good, you know, they advertise that as a seminar to work in the recruitment industry. And I went in there blissfully ignorant, and really only on the day that I sat down, did I understand that I was actually in a sales job. It was just, I kept thinking, Oh, no, I'm going to be, you know, talking to people over the phone, and we're going to be discussing the best job for them and what you know, what, what meets their emotional needs, and what meets the company's needs. And together, we can make this great match and everything is going to, you know, then suddenly, I got there, and it's what you got to make, you know, 100 phone calls a day, you've got to get these accountants, you got to get six interviews lined up a day, you've got to get three offers a week, you've got to get to closed every week, you know, there was all these metrics on the board. And, you know, your calls were being countered. And, you know, the office was just full of, you know, people rang a bell when they when one of the candidates matched one of the they made a job offer and things like that. And it was just sort of, I can't remember pinching myself, after about three or four months going I'm, I'm in sales, like it's called recruitment. But but but I'm in I'm in sales. And then circumstances just sort of took over. And I, I was pretty good at it, which helped. And so you know, was making some decent money, then, then we won the green card, or Sam won the green card. And so we're able to come to America. And at that point, I said, this is the perfect chance. I don't want to be in sales anymore. Super excited. And I came to California, Shanna how to become a teacher. So I did my C best straightaway. And then I started trying to find out but how I would clear my getting American credential from from my South African and UK paperwork. And it just seemed an insurmountable mountain. It just seemed so difficult. And so so many hoops, and so many things to do. And I needed a job. So I got another job in sales. And literally ended up for seven years in, in, in in recruiting at a company down in Del Mar. And I can't complain, because we did well, and we were able to buy a house and we started our family. So there was nothing wrong with that. But I was never never truly happy. It really felt like waking up every morning hating Sunday nights, Sunday nights were were the worst. I would just be like, Oh, it's all starting again. And that literally being in a cube, you know, and just how many phone calls have you made? How many offers do you have? And it was it was just draining me away. It was absolutely draining me away. So then I decided that in I was thinking of doing something different. So I tried a different sales job. I left that one. And I went to work in outside sales because I thought, Oh, well, maybe not being in a cube. And I worked for a company called Aramark and we went around selling coffee and tea and water to businesses and things like that. And I literally changed about two months later, the Great Recession strike. And so I was going to people and saying, Hey, how about putting her Starbucks coffee espresso machine in the break room? Because, well, we just laid off 30 people today like I can't get a Starbucks coffee machine. So the timing was was awful. And, and so then I got laid off from that. And then that was that was low because it's the first time I'd ever been laid off. And it really it was hard not to take it personally. Like it was just like, wow, like, you know, who am I? What am I going to become? I'm going to look after my family. Luckily, I got a super supportive wife. And she said to me, she was the one really who said, You know, I think you should go back to teaching. And then I remembered my teaching in England. And I said no way. Like, I don't want to go back to teaching like that. That's just not what I imagined teaching would be like and then of course You know, we started she turned me on to the Montessori thing and we made Shannon wrangled. And that's when it just I decided I'm going to do this and with her support and I started working part time at Fallbrook, Montessori. I was the school handyman and I worked as the upper elementary assistant. So in the in the mornings I worked as the upper elementary assistant in the afternoon I was the school handyman come janitor can painter, whatever it could. And then I was also working with Shannon and to hisa at that time, in the afternoons at Montel doing the Montessori like the front desk and the after school program from from there. And just straightaway, like the whole vibe was different. Like the the people that I was working with were, were were engaged, they were caring, they were like, I never felt like the guy on the front desk. Like it was just like a part of the team. And you know, in the parents and the kiddos. It was just my brain was just going crazy. With it all it was so it was so fun. And then learning we started talking about the push came from the families. What about a middle school? You know, we love the Montessori program, how can we how can we have our kids stay for longer? And that's when I found the adolescent program and and the rest is history it really after that I was just, you know, and so now gone are the the the Sunday evening dreads gone other? Like it's the why, for me, it's just naturally fulfilled? Like I don't, you know, some days are worse than others. Yes, there's stressors, yes, there's tough times, all those kinds of things. But I'm, I'm grateful now for having done that whole sales piece, part of my life, because I can always look back at that. And I can go, No, like, the worst day teaching that doesn't even come close to the best day being in a cube and trying to sell, you know, jobs to people and people to jobs. So yeah, for sure. You know, something I've seen about listening is that, so you're saying that your South African teaching experience was good, but the one in England was bad. But, you know, as we humans do, sometimes it's that bad one that's sticking out in the in the forefront of your mind when you think about going back to teaching yet. You're talking about in today? Yes, you know, there, you've got to take the bad with the good. And the good just really outweighs the bad for you. Yeah. For sure. And I think it's it's, it's so many levels of of goodness that I appreciate. I appreciate the kiddos that I work with, and I appreciate the staff that I work with. And you know, now again, obviously, like any organization, you do come across those people who you go, Whoa, energy vampire, be careful of that one thing but, but that is that is the exception. Like really the exception and it's just so much easier to to is so much easier to come to work. Like I don't even you know, think of it as work my wife will often say like, Oh, look, you know, like you're going back to the school on Saturday. Oh, yeah. Like, it's, it's fun, you know, my kids will come with me and it's just, it's just a part of who I am. Like, it just, it doesn't even cross my mind to think of that as work. It's just this is this is what I do. This is what I enjoy doing. And and that's that's that's the why so it's it's it's a it's a it's a really good feeling. And, you know, the Montessori they often talk about the flow, you know, that feeling of you know, when you don't know how much time has passed, you don't know what's going on around you. I literally feel like that virtually every day at school. And it's not because I'm feeling overworked or overwhelmed. It's just oh my gosh, the days come to an end the children are leaving. What happened? Did I did I do everything I wanted to do today? You know, so whereas I can tell you those days in the cube? Man, I would look at my watch. And I go Really? Certainly 11 Are you joking right now? So I know for me that alone is like this year, it's already much and this is a COVID year with all the craziness and all the wackiness and everything and I'm going where did it go? Like how did it go? And so that for me is a sign of, of that kind of happiness and satisfaction when you're not marking time when you when you are not aware of time, then it's kind of Yeah, you're in the right place. You know, a common theme I have seen with all of these positions you've talked about is that idea of you know, even when you're doing recruitment your your matching needs, you know you're matching things up and and i realizing just because I know what you do, that can be one of sorry, that's the same thing you're doing with those kiddos with the lessons, you know, you're you're developing learning plans around them and helping them absolutely they're each one of them is unique just like your your, you know, my in England was accountants in America was nurses that I was working with, but they are they're unique and what might be a great job to one, it was not a great job to to another, another person at all and it is the same with with the students. You know, I think it's a great idea we should do this video. Some of the students are horrified, they couldn't think of anything worse than than being in a video and being in front of their peers and being on video. And so now we got to try something something different with with them as well. So yeah, it's a matchmaking game. Definitely. Alrighty, well, thank you. Anything else you have for the 10 minute tidbit for people that might be looking for their element in all the wrong places? I think and what I what I've told some of the folks who have come to us as learning assistants and have contemplated, you know, maybe taking the next step is, you don't know until you take the next step. So so many people want to know, like, wait, what is that final end point going to be? And, you know, it's cliched and cliches are there for a reason, I think but I know now that, you know, I could have people could have said I was crazy to go and get a job as a handyman. And the upper elementary assistant and I don't even remember what I was getting paid, but I'm pretty sure it was just above minimum wage. But I didn't know at that point that I would end up teaching Middle School Montessori, I didn't know Middle School Montessori actually existed at that point. And I am so grateful and glad that I did do that then because if I hadn't taken that small step, and you know, each journey begins with a small step. Right? And it's, it's just so absolutely true that you can't always end up with the final goal in mind. I mean, it's it's good to know if you do know, and you should be working towards it. But sometimes, you've just got to start, like, you just got to say, you know what, like, I'm doing this and then I'll and I'll see where it takes me. I might end up with some person, I might end up with another person. I might end up with one career. I don't know, it just absolutely depends. So for me, that's been, and that's something I'm trying to talk to, to my own my own children, not my school children, my own children is, you know, my son's, he's going to be a senior next year, and he's kind of unsure what he's going to do. And it's okay. It's okay. Like, you'll you'll take it, you'll take a step. And that step will lead you and you will meet somebody who will who will introduce you to somebody else. Just be open, just be open to to all those different things, because you just never know. No, I always think I always look at Shannon so fondly because I know she was someone who was so instrumental in starting the program in the beginning, and I'm like, Wow, that is just fantastic. And that that her children word, my wife school, and so we were able to connect with her, like these connections that you make, you just have no idea how they're going to end up and you just got to be open, open to them. So just so crucial. Absolutely. It makes me think of what they say about Edison, you know, and how many failures he had. And he said, Well, now I know how many ways that it doesn't work, you know, same thing each, then you try. Well, now I know what I don't want to do. Yeah, we for sure. step closer to what you do want to do. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And it's something I see so much with the with, with the students, you know, some of them are so reluctant to just start because they don't know where they're going to finish. And it's, it's just a, an interesting thing for them just to say get started, you know, here's your blank piece of paper, draw a line, and it happens. That's good. Well, thank you all very much. Thanks for having me. Earl, Adi is an example of how not only you, but others benefit when you operate in your element. Finding his element has helped his family, his students, his his students, parents, his co workers. It's a fantastic domino effect. Even after years in the practice, you can hear the joy in his voice when he talks about what he does. You aren't truly operating in your element if you're not experiencing joy. So think about what lifts your spirits. Ask yourself, Why do I choose to spend my time the way that I do? In what ways might success pay off in dividends of health and happiness? Rather than money or grades? In what ways can I bring my purpose in to the work I do? Look at your lists from episode one activity where you spent some time thinking about your interests, your talents and your desires. Now reflect on your current environment and the people with which you spend your time. Do they support the items on list? Or do they create roadblocks for you? Would it make more sense to adjust the list or to adjust the environment and the people. And while we all know there's limits to how much we can change our current environment and the people that are part of our daily lives, there are ways we can change the way we view them. And there are ways we can find opportunities to experience new environments and new people. In what ways can your current environment and people as well as the new ones bring you joy? Next week we speak with a family who used their talents and interests to make the best of a life circumstance when they learn their son was on the autism spectrum. Please join us for episode three of four